Shadow work 101| Inner Child
- Layshaianae
- Oct 28, 2021
- 7 min read
Updated: Jun 20, 2022
Introduction
To perform shadow work is to incorporate the disowned parts of yourself, that in some way or another made it into your subconscious mind, and integrate it into your conscious self.
When the shadow becomes conscious it is able to be transformed, so that it will no longer work against you but for you.
Technically shadow work comes from psychoanalytic theory, which is a method of emotional healing of the shadow self popularized and created by Carl Jung.
Carl Jung did not invent emotional healing through the examination of past experience, however, he definitely created a method to break down your psyche so that you can use it to heal yourself.
When you venture into shadow work, you are ultimately trying to heal your emotional wounds, so that you can consciously become your uninhibited best version.
There is no one way to practice shadow work and there is no type of invitation you need in order to perform it.
What you need to know
There are some clear ideas you should be aware of before you dive into the darkest corners of your mind, that I have personally adopted from Buddhism into my own practice.
Have an unconditional friendship with yourself.
You can be your own worst enemy, but you are never the problem at hand. Be kind and understanding to yourself as you would a close friend in need.
Be at home with your own mind and body.
Ensure that you feel safe and protected while alone, as this is the basis for being compassionate with yourself.
Pain is inevitable.
As with life, you cannot escape the hardships that come with doing shadow work. This form of self-healing is beyond empowering and the healing comes on a lot smoother if you do not struggle against the pain.
Shadow work isn't always easy and it can even cause you to tremble with anxiety. But there is no peace that can compare to actually taking your time, energy, and effort away from experiences that have stolen all of those things from you for years.
Especially when the ideas you were holding onto did not serve your greatest purpose and were holding you back from becoming who you want and need to be.
Inner child
Without a say your childhood shaped who you became as a young adult, more specifically dealing with your subconscious responses to similar situations you have already experienced.
The relationship you have with your mother and father regardless of the circumstances plays a role in your life. And depending on the quality of relationship you had with these primordial figures can have a significant impact on your friendships and romantic relationships.
From your parents, you learn what love means, respect, hard work, and compassion. And you have subconsciously created and held up other important people in your life on the ideas of what you think love or friendship is.
But you do not have to be a reflection of your parental figures, acknowledging that they did have an effect on your perception in life is important whether you have a good, bad, or complicated relationship with your parents.
Inner child work is specifically dealing with traumas you have experienced as a child and you can understand why there is such a fuss about your inner child.
Your inner child may have experienced a variety of different wounds and it may seem almost impossible to attack it all.
There is no need to worry about needing to reach some sort of healed perfection, you are nurturing your own wounds and finding your way.
That makes you the best person that you could possibly be in the moment, and that's all life can ever ask of us.
Memories and PTSD
Instead of consciously revisiting past experiences, PTSD will cause you to forcibly relive past traumas, especially after being triggered.
This is a clear indication that you may need outside support to heal in the most effective way.
You know best for yourself, it should be a conscious and voluntary choice to integrate your shadow.
Shadow work and definitely inner child recognition will require you to re-examine events in your life where you have received trauma.
This can include incidents that you do not remember clearly, or you had previously believed happened to someone else.
When revisiting these events it is just as important to distinguish yourself from these unexpected emotions as it is for you to experience them.
You may be overcome with sadness but you are not the personification of sadness or tragedy.
You are never just your emotions, emotions are just temporary side effects of your experience.
Mediation can help you grasp this understanding of neutral blissful contentedness. If you want some modern meditation techniques to try to spice up your practice view my top 5 here.
Healing Techniques
Journaling
Journaling is an excellent technique for beginners, as it really only requires paper and some sort of writing tool pen, pencil, marker, etc.
When writing on paper there is a flow created that simply does not stream out of me if I were typing on a computer or on my phone. I find actually writing and working through your mind is a form of self-expression and does wonders for understanding your shadow self.
So if possible I highly recommend doing this on paper preferably in a book you have dedicated to your spiritual journey. You can use sigils in your journal to help you channel protection while performing your shadow work.
Either way, journaling is a fantastic way for you to understand the thoughts in your mind.
And with guided shadow prompts you will get to know your inner child’s wants and needs so that you can give yourself the energy your inner child never received.
Inner Child journal prompts
What inspired you as a child, what were your passions?
How did your parents or guardians treat your passions or dreams?
Were they encouraged or ridiculed?
How do you wish your guardians would have responded to your aspirations?
What kind of impact did your guardian's response have on the way you view your own aspirations?
What did your inner child need from your parents that you did not receive?
In light of this experience, what do you want to say to your inner child now?
Was there trust in your home growing up?
Could you trust your parents to love you unconditionally and protect you from the world? Explain, go over specific situations, & allow yourself to experience these moments again.
Forgive your parents for shortcomings and be grateful for positive experiences you’ve had with them that showed trust in your relationship. You don't have to go out and build a bridge for them but this will help you on your path to having a new relationship where you are no longer a victim to their responses.
Examine your modern-day life, if there was distrust in your childhood, you may carry that distrust into your adult life. Do you have a hard time trusting new people or just anyone in general?
Forgive yourself for not allowing yourself the room to have faith in people. How can you show someone that you care about them and that you trust them?
Are there little things you do , because you have a hard time trusting people? Such as going through your partner’s phone or things in hope to find something to convict them of betraying you. How can you change those habits to be healthier so that you can be in happier relationships with friends, families, and significant otters?
What is something you can use to replace thoughts of distrust? This works wonders for stopping yourself before you walk a path of destruction and ultimately embarrassment.
Tarot Spreads
Working with tarot spreads is more of an intermediate form of work on your inner child, simply because it requires some type of knowledge about tarot cards and how to read them.
Tarot itself is an act of divination that can help make your issue at hand become more clear.
When things feel foggy and I am in need of some extra clarity, I will turn to my tarot cards.
Often I have a good understanding of what is going on with my shadow but in this case, I need an additional perspective to truly understand the situation. Especially if I am to embody divine energy inside me and apply this lesson to my life.
Experiences that make it into your shadow have had multiple opportunities for you to consciously correct them and having that additional viewpoint really does make a world of difference.
Spread 1
Spread 2
Incubation
This technique does take a bit more knowledge in dream interpretation, omens, & syncochrity in order to perform properly but is the technique that has yielded the strongest result when it comes to significant parts of myself that I have repressed.
You spend quite a lot of time dreaming in your life and I think you will find your subconscious mind rules your dream world.
Incubation is an ancient technique used by priestesses who would sleep in their sacred temples and perform rituals in order to receive divine messages in their dreams.
Write your inner child a letter. In this letter, you can talk about whatever you want just make sure that you note you want to meet that child in a safe place you mind.
Before falling asleep you can light a candle dressed in shaman's vision and olive oil for protection. And sleep with both an amethyst and your letter under your pillow. You will dream vividly and you must write and interpret that dream the following morning before it escapes your mind.
5 steps for healing your inner child
Make a sacred place even if it is just in your mind. Make sure you feel safe and comfortable.
Protect yourself and your energy.
Sigils for protection
Warding
3. Choose a technique for your healing
Journaling
Divination
Incubation
4. Test out different techniques and find which method is the most effective at imposing positive changes in your life.
5. Personally, I will test one technique for a week or so, and eventually, I found a few different methods that resonated with me.
How to tell if your shadow practice is actually effective.
During the time period when you were testing out a shadow work technique, you were face to face with your shadow. Both of you are fighting for dominance over the situation.
Were you embarrassed by your actions? Did you take control and present your best self? Do you have any regrets about your actions?
You can tell your shadow work is effective when you can see change. Change in behavior and character when presented with similar situations, regardless of how small that change is, it is still progress.
You are not on a timeline to be healed and it will take time to tend to your emotional wounds, and that's okay.
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